Soledad's Sojourn

Soledad

There's a long road ahead and she slips into the driver’s seat.
She doesn't know where she's going,
but she's headed for a place where her heart and her head meet.

Driving away, she’s driving away.
No destination in sight,
but she'll find her way.

Warnings were there, this time, she knows.
Feeling the pull of the road
and the push from here for her to go.
There’s more here, don't go, but she's gone.
He stands with his guitar, hallow breeze,
and he waits until dawn.

Driving away, she’s driving away.
No destination in sight,
but she'll find her way.

Trying to call out, trying to remind her each mile she gains.
Her eyes are ahead, no looking back. This hurt will wane;
letting go of the pain.
Her tears aren't fuel, but its working. Memories aren't company, but keep her on her way.
Too far gone to turn back,
do you hear the words I say?

Driving away, she drives away.
No destination in sight,
but she'll find her way.

Snapshots on the visor fade, letting go of the loss that she's always feared.
Hope is a breeze blowing through her hair.
Love is a whisper, but she's not there.

Driving away, she drives away
No destination in sight,
but she'll find her way.

Poem by Amanda C Boteler. December 2009

Used with permission

I fell in love with this poem when Mandy first posted it. Little did I know then that it would be a poem about my life. I am currently in this time and space of utter freedom. I drove away from my job of 15 1/2 years on January 31, 2012. A month later, I drove away from the place I had called home for all those years as well.  Leaving Indiana, I left a marriage of 22 years, a career and a calling, my home and my friends. 

I am currently on a "leave of absence." I prefer to call it a sabbatical or a sacred journey to renew and rest and discern. For the first month I have relied upon the good graces and hospitality of friends and family. I went sledding down a hill for the very first time. I repaired and paddled my new skin-on-frame kayak among alligators and tankers. I walked trails, drank beer, enjoyed opening shows at photo galleries, ate incredible food, slept late, talked with a counselor and began the wonderful task of catching up with people dear to me. Thank you Val, Ed, John & Jane, Becky & Joel & Joseph, Mark, Jim, Eric, Joan, Diane and mom. You provided this intentionally unemployed and homeless one a safe place to land as I planned the next step.

The next step is this: a journey of solitude. Soledad's Sojourn. I have driven away once again, leaving the safety and security of family and friends to travel solo. Along the way I hope to learn more and more about myself and to fall in love all over again with God and God's creation. I plan to tap into the creative spirit that has been silenced and buried deep the past many years. I'm going places I've longed to go and I will paddle in waters that I have yet to explore. I am open to the experience of just being. I will trust my instincts, grieve my loses and dream new dreams.  Hope is indeed the breeze blowing through my hair. Love is a whisper, but I'm no longer there. I'm driving away to that place where my  head and heart might meet.