It's a God Thing

It’s truly fascinating to me, even after all these years, how God moves in my life. Some might call it coincidence, but too many things keep coming together; too many times I hear the same message: I am called to creativity. God has great things ahead for me.

Yesterday I spent the entire day here at the condo, writing and sleeping and catching up with friends. It was indeed a great way to spend a Saturday. Even as the winds roared and the mountain seemed to ascend into a cloud, I was content to be inside and simply be reflective and restful. As I thought about worship for the next day, I remembered a Presbyterian church I had driven by the night before. That seemed like a reasonable and comfortable bet. I looked at a long list of possible other churches and figured most were going to be too conservative for me. So Presbyterian worship at 11am, it was.

But then I pick up the Ruidoso Visitor’s Guide for 2011-2012, and there in its pages of history and attractions is a half page advertisement for Church out of Church. There’s no real sense of theology, only that their experience of worship might not be so traditional. In fact, there in the center of the ad it states, “If you want church as usual, you might want to make other plans…” The church is located in Alto; worship is at 10am. It’s casual; come as you are. I’m intrigued, but I have no idea how far Alto is from where I’m staying. It’s probably going to be conservative. I should stick with what I know, but I went to bed with the option open. I’ll see how I feel about it in the morning.

Morning came with beautiful sunshine and a crisp blue sky. This week my discipline of Morning Pages asks that I choose three affirmations and write them five times during each mornings writings. I choose three from the list of 20 and add one of my own personal affirmations as well:

I am a channel for God’s creativity, and my work comes to good.

I am allowed to nurture my artist.

There is a divine plan of goodness for me.

I have something of significance to offer.

Throughout my morning reflections and writings, these thoughts were repeated. As I drank my second cup of coffee I decided to push the unknown. I was going to the Church out of Church. They worship at the Flying J Ranch, which is one of the family tourist destinations in the area. They offer a chuck wagon dinner followed by a country western show most nights. As I pulled in under the sign crossing the drive, I thought, “Lord, I hope it’s not country gospel music.”

I pulled into a parking spot about 9:50am. Ten minutes to show time. I ate my yogurt and opened myself to whatever was ahead. As I walked to the building that had a rustic, western dance hall look to it, I just reminded myself that if I expect to meet and worship God this morning, it will happen. Regardless of style or music or even theology; it’s what I bring to worship that really matters. 

I entered my  sanctuary for the morning. It was indeed a Western show hall with long benched tables all in rows ready to feed and entertain crowds of tourist. I was greeted by Steve and pointed to the coffee and donut table. There were some people hanging around chatting in this area, but not too many. I was thinking this was going to be a sparsely attended worship. I topped off my coffee mug, grabbed a stadium cushion and found my way to a place towards the front and in the center.

The band was warming up with Hallelujah! Your Love is Amazing. Nice!!! No country gospel music. Thank God. People started filling in. The din in the back of the church out of church grew louder as people gathered, got coffee and caught up with each other as church communities do. A couple sat down next to me. Melvina and Mark. They’ve only been coming for a few months. Their daughter was coming here and got them started. They really loved the worship experience and hoped I would too.

Finally at 10:15, the band came back on stage. There’s four of them, ranging in age from 40’s-60’s. They have a good sound; balanced and blended well. The woman in the group is apparently the worship leader. After a brief announcement about a prayer breakfast in May, she opens up worship with a passage from I John 3. Something about the Son of God being revealed for the purpose of destroying the works of Lucien. Oh no, I thought. This is going to be a wild ride. But my prayer had been to know God’s presence and hear God’s word in the music, the prayers and the message, no matter what the style, music, or theology. So heart is open, mind is too.

In spite of a shaky opening, I found the music to be, for the most part, engaging and meaningful. There was a bit more devil talk and Jesus with a sword imagery than I care for (and you need to understand, I don’t care for any). But even with that, there was a genuineness about the band. They believed what they were singing. It was easy to join them in the words of praise and expressions of gratitude for God’s goodness and protection. I could let the other stuff go. I did feel God’s presence in that place. It helps to expect it.

A woman, Julie, was invited to give a brief testimony at one point. They didn’t call it that, just said she had something important to share. And she did. Short, sweet, simple. One morning when she was battling with feelings of self-worth, she turned to God in prayer. God asked her, “Beloved child, is there something wrong with me?” “Is there something wrong with my word?” “If there’s nothing wrong with me or my words of grace and truth, why do you doubt your own worth? You are my child. You are my beloved.”  Sometimes we forget that very simple truth.

After about 40 minutes of singing, the pastor takes the stage. I kept my heart open. After all this devil and Jesus with a sword stuff I wasn’t sure what to expect, but he really spoke to my spirit’s need. I didn’t agree 100% with his theology, but some of his words “coincided” dramatically with the things I’ve been working on. I was stunned when he literally said that we are each called to creativity and that God has great things for us to do. We’re God’s vessels… 

He touched on Philippians, one of my favorite letters of Paul. Surprisingly he brought us the verse about the two women in the church who were in conflict with each other. What? With all the great stuff Paul says about rejoicing, this guy picks out the conflict? Well, keep listening, my child. It is amazing when you expect to hear God’s word, the heart and mind and ears are indeed attuned. In the midst of this church out of church I heard that broken relationships are not what God wants for us, but when they do happen, we shouldn’t let them weigh us down. They should not be burdens that define us. We need to remember that God does not want us to settle. God never calls us to settle. God wants what is good for us and what frees our spirit for the creative work set before us.

Ok. How did this guy get into my head and into my heart? How could he possibly know I needed to hear those words of grace and also his challenge to forgive the other? The anger and pain that comes from a divorce after 20+ years of marriage is real, but what a blessing to hear this call to creativity is a call to healing. The Artist’s Way has that at its core. A conversation with a good friend yesterday reiterated that that God is going to do great things to me and with me on this journey. Now this pastor of a church out of church brings it home. God is at the heart of it all, with forgiveness, love and transforming grace. The power of the spirit frees us for full and creative and living. Faith is the act of believing that God wants this for us. I dare not forget it.

Not sure what happened at the Presbyterian Church today. I'm sure God was there too, but it turns out I was right where I needed to be. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.